Wanderlust

Okay okay heres the sitch, I think its 26 mesquite bites on my left leg,and 44 on my right leg, no wait those are bedbugs. I have successfully sweated so much that I could be mistaken for a wet canine. I have ran out of toilet paper in times most inconvenience, my backpack is heavy oh so gotta sit down to hike that bad boy on my back heavy. I've bravely ate the most blistering chili,spicy,hot,curry. Yet I have had the most rockin' three months thus far.  I wont lie I think of home. I think of 'merica. I think of cookie butter from Trader Joe's. I think of a nice dinner with dad and his finest cooking, perhaps a steak with some grilled veggies and endless Napa Valley wine. Man my bed, I think of my bed with my Bed Bath and Beyond down comforter you can hide a body in. WOW

but the adventure continues.

Last time I left you I was entering Cambodia. I adore Cambodia. Quick recap. Cambodia was shut down as a country for three years 1975-1978. Due to this horrific, rat of a man that somehow justified the act of killing his own people. Probably my saddest day of travel... Visiting the Cambodian Killing Camp. Walking the same very path of the people of this fragile country, while listening to the history and break down via "tour on tape". I fought back tears, and watched my every step for there were bones and clothing remnants that weather has naturally brought to the surface over the years. This place was a shithole, made me angry, crushed my smile, and made me wonder how the hell can one mans demand kill 25% of his country. Closing it down in less then a weeks time, and banning the existence of Cambodia for three whole years. Simmer on that. Heavy. Waking up one day to a cluster of disaster. Loaded up by the car loads to be killed in the most unpleasant ways. This day I wish to never revisit. Upon entrance, stands a tower of the millions of skulls found/dug up, as a memorial of this time in history. Something no eye should have to see. Cambodia is indeed a 3rd world country
and my God what a stand of ovation I give to this lands recovery. Cambodians age 40 and older most likely were apart of this hardship, I just cannot even wrap my brain around this one.


Onto more colorful things.

We finished our trip right back in Thailand where it all began two months ago.This time in the southern islands. Oh la la. We made it to two islands, both highly stimulating, and quite the way to wrap up SE Asia. One of my last days was spent snorkeling with majestic colorful fishes, attempting to stay afloat, and keeping Jen near to point out all the neat creatures we could spot. The blue blue blue water was like a personal show, the jellyfish danced for us and refrained from stinging. The fish ate rice from my hand, and nibbled on my toes. The warm water and  aggravation of Jen's inability to capture a fish concluded our Southeast Asia trek.



As I sit in row 39 of 40 in route to Rome, Italy. Southeast Asia was spectacular. We covered Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam. Though I can't say it was all showers of skittles, it was an incredible 2 months of education, confirmation, and happiness. I left SE Asia with a smile. I have confirmed that I still want to be a nurse, and follow through with nursing school when I return. I have added villages to my endless list of places I want to revisit once I am that nurse. Lastly, I have found this piece of me that I didn't know existed....

....
You alway strive as human to be this sort of person, or that sort of person, or to be super good at this hobby, or to have the coolest this or that. This far in my travels I think I have figured out the life I wish to lead for myself and those of my surroundings.
This is silly.
This is really far fetched.

But
             this is really the meat of my last two months. Something about traveling here in SE Asia has morphed this concrete idea of who I want Carissa to be like,act like, live by. Maybe it was the huge cultural impressions, or the many other trillion backpackers from all over the globe influencing me slightly, or maybe it was the many quiet moments I had to gather my own thoughts, organize these suckers, and prioritize my being in a way that made this trip of course memorable and self fulfilling. Not exclaiming to be the new Buddha of Asia, nor the girl that goes and travels and comes back this "holy hell she's so different" of a person, nor do I really need to explain myself.....but I can explain one thing. When given moments of peace, silence, ability to be lost in thought with zero distraction, I have experienced some of my happiest days. Days crystal clear of confusion. I am overbearing with happiness. Traveling is about seeing the unseen, doing the coolest things to tell mom and dad, taking that super eye appealing picture, but what I have found is that traveling is this, this happiness that's constantly running through me. It's toxic, it's fun, it's something I hope to carry through my day to day life when the adventure is over. This is simple, what am I thinking? I know. You have to agree everyday is an adventure whether stuck in the most boring lecture, or lost in the jungle in fear of a monkey snatching your sunglasses. Sometimes life is so busy we forget the main motives, like happiness. THIS is what traveling has unraveled for me.


I am the antsiest on the plane
I am ready to be cold
I am ready to feel clean
I am ready to continue on the adventure


Okay okay the wine cart is coming.


Uh and Jen has her blanket on her head....We are flying AirIndia, I gotta go.